Still Another Man For Ann

“Dorothy Ann Richards – September 1, 1933 to September 13, 2006 was an American politician from Texas. She first came to national attention as the witty keynote speaker at the 1988 Democratic National Convention (detailed below). Considered the first woman elected Governor of Texas in her own right, she served in that post from 1991 to 1995; she was defeated for re-election in by George W. Bush, current President of the United States

Richards’s keynote address to the 1988 Democratic National Convention put her in the national spotlight when she uttered the famous line, about the wealthy, then-Vice President George H. W. Bush, “Poor George, he can’t help it…He was born with a silver foot in his mouth.” The speech set the tone for her political future;

Texas’ Republican governor, Bill Clements, decided not to run for re-election in 1990. Richards painted herself as a sensible progressive, and won the Democratic gubernatorial nomination against Attorney General James “Jim” Mattox of Dallas and former governor Mark White. Mattox ran a particularly abrasive campaign against Richards, accusing her of having been a cocaine user and a reformed alcoholic. The Republican nomination for governor passed to multi-millionaire rancher Clayton Williams. After a brutal campaign, Richards narrowly won the election on November 6, 1990 by a margin of 49-47%, and was inaugurated governor the following January.” (*)

Being from Texas (1976 through 1996), I can remember a lot of things. It’s where, for all intents and purposes, I grew up. I had such a great time there.

I remember my very first dabbling into politics was in early January, 1990. I’d heard about this extraordinary and sassy broad who was running for Governor of Texas. I remember being somewhat wary of Bill Clements being in charge, and it was then that I also discovered, for the first time, that I was a Democrat.

I wanted to learn about the political process, and so I joined in the Richards’ campaign. Ours was a small grass roots group and we were all pretty new to the game. But we were determined to help get this fine lady (and she was that, in every way) elected.

Long story short, after what I though was just the nastiest campaign (on both sides), Ann won by the slimmest margin. Less than a year later, I was fortunate enough to meet her at a function in Dallas. I fell in love.

Later, in 1994, she lost her bid to re-election to some slimy little asshole named George W. Bush (led by his “Turdburgler”, Karl Rove). It was then that I’d started considering a move from the state.

She was the smartest, sharpest and sassiest lady I’ve ever met.

We’ve lost a great friend.

I will miss you, Ann.

(*) Info provided by Wikipedia

Gay Division 101

Before the panic starts this is not a post about leather daddies versus screaming nellies, or lipstick lesbians versus butch gals. This is about the time honored (and worn, to some extent) phrase “my other half”.

I was inspired by our community collective, Best Gay Blogs which, depending on the amount of time I have, I at the very least skim daily. (I am not kissing up…ok, maybe just a skosh, but I do read it daily because I get email alerts to remind me!). A couple of days ago they highlighted Single in the City crafted by a very attractive young man known as “The Single Guy”. What follows is an excerpt from his recent post “There is no WE in Single”:

“Humans spend half of their waking life talking, dealing, sorting, getting, ending and entering into relationships. Single people spend thousands of dollars on online dating, self-help books, dating coaches, and anti depressants in the search for their other half. Some later spend three times that much to divorce or break up with their other half.

I have managed to write thousands of words on being single, relationships and love¦ yet it somehow seems that everyone..or at least anyone who is single is looking for their other half. Do we need another person to make us complete? Or is this type of thinking just an unhealthy form of co-dependency?

Can single people be complete on their own? I would like to think that is the case¦ but the co-dependant me sometimes can take over¦ .I like to think that the independent single lifestyle is alive and going strong…but sometimes this is more the theory than in practice. I throw myself into hobbies, friendships and other interest¦ but I still come back to the search and need for my mate…my partner and my lover, I’ll say it…my other half!”.

He nails it from the single perspective, and mirrored what I thought just over 5 years ago and a half a world away. (There must be solace in some things being universal!) I don’t even want to begin to calculate how much money, time, and emotional effort I burned through trying to bring into reality “my other half”. The search can in turns be exhilarating and exhausting. What I shared with Single Guy, and what I am writing today, is an affirmation to the single man from a former member of their ranks, now these 5 years willingly tied to “his other half”. I reached a thirty-something age, which is different for each person, I am sure (for some it may be a twenty- something, forty-something, or for all I know an eighty-something age) where it “came together” for me mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. By “came together”, in the simplest terms, I was ready. And by ready, I mean things were in order for me to truly open myself up to the possibility of having the person in my life I was meant to be with.

Not to be too much of a New Age flower child, but my clarity came from studies of Wicca and other pagan philosophies. I became “open” to the possibility of sharing my life with that one special man. I stopped trying so hard to make it happen, that I allowed it to happen.

Now the tricky part–this is going to be different for each and every person. The way that the forcing (if you’ll pardon the pun) the square peg into the round hole becomes the ease (oops, another pun) of the round peg in the round hole will be different for each person. Predictable as it sounds, quite often it will happen when you stop worrying about it. Trust me, and enjoy the break, because when it does you have a whole new set of (wonderful, romantic, aggravating, and heartwarming) concerns.

I think this is the most important: You are a complete person ALL ON YOUR OWN. The phrase “my other half” is a sweet euphemism embraced my millions (including my other half) to denote that special bond we have. Daniel, I honestly believe, delights in the realization people get (see our Uber Super Deluxe Right Wing Christian neighbors behind us) when the “other half” he is referring to, turns out to be all 6′3″ of me. But he is, and I am, strong, individual people who have healthy self images and assurance, enhanced and enriched by sharing those traits with each other.

I wasn’t ready to be with my other half until I was whole myself. And I also believe some people live rich, fulfilling lives filled with love without actually bonding to one specific person. May the Single Guy and all the rest of you single guys and gals find the happiness you deserve and may you too be enriched for it.