The Tempest

Not Exactly Shooting For \”Miss Congeniality\”

Posted By Tempest – Confessions of a narcissistic opera singer.

Posted by Daniel on Sunday, March 26, 2006

Mi-Mi-Mi-Mi-Mi-Mi-Mi-Mi-Mi…

  1. I’m afraid of the ocean.
  2. Terrified, actually.
  3. When I say I live in Kansas City…I don’t mean Kansas.
  4. I really hate it when people get that confused.
  5. I love to fly.
  6. I’m terrified of heights.
  7. Yet I love the movie “Vertigo”.
  8. My favorite pet in the world is buried in our yard.
  9. I think of her every day.
  10. I fall victim to depression and anxiety…
  11. daily.
  12. My family thinks I’m weird.
  13. I think I’m just “gifted”.
  14. “Titanic” & “Pearl Harbor” still make me cry.
  15. So do my friends…and Steve.
  16. In a good way.
  17. I love making coffee for my honey, Steve.
  18. I also love it when he burps or…you know…
  19. Like I said…I’m “gifted”.
  20. I know what love is.
  21. He pinches my nose every day.
  22. I hate lies.
  23. Especially ones I tell.
  24. I’m only 5’3”, but I don’t wish I was taller.
  25. That was one of them.
  26. I hate shopping for clothes in the “boys” section.
  27. “Grr Animals” and “Osh Kosh B’Gosh” are fun to mix and match.
  28. I owned two bars and bartended at them and another.
  29. I once got so drunk, I fell asleep in one of those trough-like urinals.
  30. I’m not very proud of that one.
  31. I think of suicide every day.
  32. I see Steve and everything’s okay again.
  33. I have a favorite brother.
  34. I hated him when we were kids.
  35. Gardening is my lifes’ passion.
  36. I never want to be President.
  37. I tend to forget things.
  38. I forgot where I was going with this.
  39. My office is an experiment in disorganized chaos.
  40. I have obsessive compulsive disorder and ADHD.
  41. I think “Organized Religion” is a contradiction in terms.
  42. I love trivia.
  43. Gina says I am a “Well of Worthless Knowledge”.
  44. I know that the amount of sunlight that hits the Earth in a 24-hour period weighs about 4 ½ lbs.
  45. Gina is right about me.
  46. I have never done drugs.
  47. I once was slipped a “mickey” by a customer, though.
  48. I hate my job.
  49. Gossipy people make me wretch.
  50. I know the “dish” on some of my neighbors.
  51. Their secrets are safe with me.
  52. I never actually “came out” to my family.
  53. They’ve known since day 1.
  54. I’ll never make enough money to be a Republican.
  55. I don’t want to.
  56. Scotty is my hero.
  57. I really need to straighten up my office.
  58. I rely too heavily on Post-It notes.
  59. I need to invest in Post-It stocks.
  60. I forgive Jody for knowingly making me sick.
  61. I still want to kick his ass.
  62. I’m going to build a green house in our backyard.
  63. I don’t know the first thing about building things.
  64. I hate the gym and the whole fitness craze.
  65. I refuse to let myself get fat.
  66. I used to drink…a lot.
  67. Once or twice a year, now. (if that)
  68. I so want to quit smoking.
  69. If I do, I’ll sublimate by eating and then I’ll get fat.
  70. Then I’ll have to go to the gym.
  71. See #’s 64 & 65.
  72. I’m a documentary fanatic.
  73. My first so-called “gay movie” was Auntie Mame.
  74. That was way before my time.
  75. I sneak treats to the cats when Steve’s not looking.
  76. He knows I do this.
  77. I think Brokeback Mountain should have been done with actual gay actors.
  78. I don’t mean gay porn “actors”…but real actors.
  79. I don’t care if Tom Cruise is gay or straight. He’s not my type, so what’s the point?
  80. You can get me to do practically anything by offering chocolate-covered cherries.
  81. I’ve been stung by jelly fish and Jack-Jumpers (very mean ants) in Australia.
  82. Every time I see the scars, I miss Sydney more.
  83. I tend to say whatever is in my head at the time.
  84. At parties, I’m either the plucky comic relief or the annoying one.
  85. I really need to pick one and work from there.
  86. When I was a kid, I was chased by a large turkey.
  87. He knocked me to the ground.
  88. My mom still thinks that was funny.
  89. I got my twisted sense of humor from my mom.
  90. It’s not in me to be vain.
  91. I loathe and detest hypocracy.
  92. And Bill O’Reilly.
  93. I strive to be the best “husband” to Steve that I am physically and mentally able to be.
  94. I know I don’t always succeed.
  95. But I’m faithful and I love him and I know he loves me.
  96. I have way too much Spongebob shit!!
  97. Now I’m into Transformers.
  98. I think they’re more than meet the eye.
  99. I have an obsession with anything, everything, anyone and everyone Australian.
  100. I am the palest Italian I know.
  101. I used to rhinestone the shit out of denim jackets.
  102. I’m pretty good at that kind of stuff.
  103. I just realized just how gay I really am.
  104. I just laughed so hard at Steve…that I farted.
  105. I’m not ashamed to admit I fart.
  106. I’m sorry I mentioned that.
  107. No…I’m really not.
  108. My first kiss was from a girl. Her name was Roger.
  109. I am shamelessly addicted to Starbursts (the candy) and salami.
  110. I can’t sing worth shit, but in the shower I still think I’m Aretha Franklin.
  111. My dreams are always in bizzare colors.
  112. I’m a unique and complicated individual.
  113. I have too many issues.
  114. I can’t seem to end this list.
  115. Yes I can.
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2 Responses to “Posted By Tempest – Confessions of a narcissistic opera singer.”

  1. atari_age said

    I think I might be the first commenter at your new digs.
    Yeah, blogger’s repeted downtime is really annoying. Hope things go better here at your new home.

    Here’s a loaf of bread, a bottle of wine, and a roll of quarters. That’s supposed to mean you should never be hungry, thirsty, or poor in your new home. But seeing as it’s a blog, then all this stuff is virtual – sorry 🙂

    Now, as for all these 100+ things lists… sometimes that’s a lot of information to hit us in one shot. Though #31 stood out. And so, thank goodness for #32.

  2. Dean said

    i love vertigo and salami too.

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