The Tempest

Not Exactly Shooting For \”Miss Congeniality\”

First comes love, then comes marriage…

Posted by Daniel on Saturday, May 13, 2006

Now comes baby in a baby carriage.

As expected, Karl Rove and his Klan have pulled out the gay card to energize the 10% of the Christian vote that they know would otherwise not bother with going to the polls in November. Remember back when Ku Klux Karl said any issue about gays during the political process was, "The gift that keeps on giving."

In 2000, it was the gays and sodomy laws that they used to scare the weak-minded right to the polls. That one didn't so much come to the fruition Karl had hoped for. By 2004, however, and after having welded the tag words into the brains of the right-wing, Karl had chosen not to bring up sodomy (knowing full well the irony of casting stones). Instead, he began using the trump card…marriage. And what could be more scary to seniors (other than robots) than a bunch of sissys wanting to make a complete mockery of marriage. "They're out to steal your right to marry, divorce, marry, divorce, marry, annul, marry, kill your spouse, re-marry…"

No wonder the seniors were out in droves in 2004. They had to do their part to stop those pesky robots from marrying their parakeets!! And here's a little something I'll bet you even Karl Joseph Goebbles Rove didn't think of. Does he know that the seniors, albeit unwittingly, played a large role in keeping the minority vote away from the polls?

Think about it…

All those seniors. Driving. Sort of. To the polls. Very slowly. Cars lined up behind them for miles. Still not knowing the turn signal has been on all this time. At 10 mph.

Worked like a charm.

Now comes the mid-term elections. Republicans – especially Karl Christian Rove (that's his actual middle name) – know they are so close to losing, at the very least, the majority in the House. They could also lose several seats in the Senate. At this point in time, it is well understood that it could be too late to save these crucial Republican seats. Worst of all, Karl knows that it's going to take a miracle to get those same slow-driving, gay-robot-hating seniors to the polls again.

What to do? Is there a gay-card they haven't pulled yet?

"Wait! Gays are adopting. They're actually adopting kids that would otherwise have no other chance. How dare they?! These kids should never be adopted by fags. They should remain the cast-away kids. Why, they should be happy in the knowledge that they were cast aside and abandoned by loving, God-fearing Christian wholesome families. Keeping them from being adopted by gays is the most loving and compassionate thing that we can do. It's for their own good. Rally the seniors!!"

Steps to pass laws or secure November ballot initiatives are underway in at least 16 states, adoption, gay rights and conservative groups say. Some — such as Ohio, Georgia and Kentucky — approved constitutional amendments in 2004 banning gay marriage.

"Now that we've defined what marriage is, we need to take that further and say children deserve to be in that relationship," says Greg Quinlan of Ohio's Pro-Family Network, a conservative Christian group.

Richard Carlson, a professor at South Texas College of Law in Houston, says adoption laws based on judgments of morality offer "a weak argument" and will face legal challenges. He cites U.S. Supreme Court rulings striking down bans on interracial marriage and sodomy, which reflected prevailing views when enacted. The high court has not taken up a state ban on gay adoption.

The 16 states in play in November and where bills banning gay adoption are being drafted or discussed are: Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Georgia, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Michigan, Missouri, Ohio, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Tennessee, Utah, Vermont, and West Virginia.

Here's an irony: Roman Catholic bishops in Massachusetts are seeking an exemption from state anti-bias laws to allow the church to bar gays from adopting through its social service agencies. Does this mean the priests would rather keep the kids…for themselves? You know, because the Catholic church has done such a bang up job in protecting the innosense of children.  Meanwhile, a judge in Missouri ruled back in February that the state could not deny a foster care license to a lesbian.

I want to know: Where are the voices of those furious over this issue? Where are the Democrats that, behind closed doors, think Republicans once again playing the gay card is "morally" disgusting. What big-name candidate (that has the balls to actually declare their candidacy…HILLARY!!!) is going to be the first to say, "Enough!"

Republican pollster Whit Ayres is skeptical. Adoption, he says, "doesn't have the emotional power of the gay marriage issue because there is no such thing as the phrase 'the sanctity of adoption.' "

There needs to be a new crime that can be tried in The Hague…Crimes against sanity. I want that bucket-headed freakshow Karl Adolf Rove to truly know what it feels like to be persecuted against just because he has a head like a bee-sting victim. I want hate-mongers like him to pay.

Fortunately, thanks to the current investigation into Roves' outing of a CIA agent, I will get my wish. I only wish he could be dragged away in cuffs NOW!

A word to the wise Karl: Fat pink balding Republicans are awfully popular in prison.

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