The Tempest

Not Exactly Shooting For \”Miss Congeniality\”

The Greenhouse Effect – Part One

Posted by Daniel on Monday, June 5, 2006

This is the greenhouse we bought.

I’m really looking forward to seeing the Al Gore’s movie, An Inconvenient Truth. It’s about time the real President had a chance to speak up about issues that are not only relevant…but also telling the truth in the process. Unlike the person claiming squatters rights in the White house – The Inconsistent Doof – who seems to think Global Warming is a fairy tale.

That’s all about that…just thought I’d mention it.

On a totally unrelated subject, Steve and I have started building the greenhouse behind our garage. I know, I’ve been talking about this project for quite a while and, quite frankly, even I’ve been eager for some actual progress. Well, thanks to a surprise delivery from our oh-so-hot FedEx driver – Hi Mike!! – progress ensues.

Sidebar: Does anyone remember when UPS used to have nothing but hot drivers? What ever happened with that?

Last Thursday, I’m out in the yard tending to some new planting when Mike pulls up in his FedEx delivery van. He walks up my driveway, says, “Hey Daniel, I’ve got a pretty big package for you. Where can I put it?” Okay, before you read too much into this, you have to realize the kind of guy Mike is. He’s recently married and, sadly, straight. But he’s also the sweetest guy you’ll ever meet. He’s totally easy on the eyes, but a tad on the, um, slow side. Which only serves to make him even that much more adorable. Plus, when he makes a “package” statement like the one mentioned above, he really means it innocently and with no double entendre. He’s very nice and way too innocent, however, that never stops me from making snide remarks about his yumminess behind his back.

By the way, this is the very same driver that delivers to my workplace. One day, my co-worker Michelle and I were sitting outside watching him back into the shipping dock. As we were being our usual tacky selves and both of us saying, “Yeah, back that ass up!”…he backs right into my truck!!!

Once again proving the adage “Be careful what you wish for“.

Anyway, so Mike delivers my greenhouse kit. It’s huge. (He was right!)

Once I opened it, I just stood there staring blankly into the enormous box full of parts – parts – parts. I felt my IQ go down at least 10 points as I stood there staring and wondering what the fuck I’d gotten myself into. “This is going to take forever”, I thought. “Who do we know who loves jigsaw puzzles??”

Scotty! Yeah. He loves putting shit together. After all, he’d put most of our early furniture together before we learned how to buy stuff made of real wood.

This is going to take some creative thinking. I mean, Scott is still working on rebuilding the Corvair he just bought.

By the way, I learned not to confuse Corvair with Corvette after seeing the look on Scotty’s face when I complimented his new “Vette”. Ouch!

So, now that Steve and I have pretty much finished building the base and floor for the greenhouse – as well as picking out some lovely tile for the floor – we are now at the point of starting to actually put the kit together. I’ll tell you, just getting the foundation done was a wee bit nerve stomping. Supposedly that part was the hardest part. The putting together of the kit is supposed to be much easier.

For the record, I’m not the most patient when working outside in very hot and humid air (fucking Global Warming!!). Steve says it’s my “Firey Italian side”. Whatever it is, I already owe him a sincere apology for Saturday. I do love your ideas, Sweetheart…keep them coming. I’m sorry I was such a “Hua”.

I was so sorry for my hot Latin temper, I got up Sunday morning, did the dishes, did all of the laundry, swept and mopped the kitchen, cleaned the front porch and swept out the garage. All before Sweetie was halfway through his first cup of coffee. Yup…I was sorry!!

Stay tuned…this could get interesting.


5 Responses to “The Greenhouse Effect – Part One”

  1. Revel said

    Dear Readers,

    I’m all for poetic license, gang, but what he he HEARD as “firey Italian side” was in actuality two anatomical slurs combining the area above the neck with two polar opposites south of the bellybutton. A firey Italian side would be a spicy meatball…and I am NOT going there….:-)

    It’s times like these I remember why we identified so much with Ray and Deborah Romano. Only I totally adore his mother.

    Other than that, the story is dead on. And he did do the dishes and the laundry, which was sweet. And I let him choose the tile for the green house floor. It’s all about compromise.

  2. …AND the front porch…AND the garage…AND the kitchen…but I’m not one to split hairs. Even if they are south of wherever.

    Poetic license…WHAT CRUST.


    Love you, too, Pookie.

  3. RevelKC2 said

    PFFFT! Yes, that’s what you think it is…:-)

  4. […] As many of you know, we’ve added a greenhouse this year, mostly because our two-car garage can’t hold all of the plants over the winter. Not that there’s not enough room, but because Steve hates having to machete his way from his car into the house. Though he does look kinda cute wearing a pith helmet. For more on the greenhouse, see here and here. […]

  5. […] the house. Though he does look kinda cute wearing a pith helmet. For more on the greenhouse, see here and […]

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