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Breaking! Urgent! We Interrupt This Program! Aliens are Invading!–With Poll!!!

Posted by revelkc on Thursday, June 8, 2006


by Revel [Subscribe]

Thu Jun 08, 2006 at 09:12:22 AM CDT
Aliens are invading!!!…if not now, really really soon. I have come to this conclusion the way only great and mystifying conclusions are reached–by listening to Matt Lauer. I don’t watch Matt Lauer much, I am seldom home to see Today, so I usually only catch him when something nauseating (see Katie Couric’s eons long exit) or revolting (see Ann Coulter’s pleasant reflections on golddigger widows)has happened. Besides, I liked him better pre-buzz cut.

But I am paying more attention to Matt now. Oh yes I am. I’ll tell you why in the sub-basement of terror that follows below! By the way, if you EVER needed a tinfoil hat, this would be the time!!!

  • The reasons that I am CERTAIN there is an impending alien invasion are as follows:

1. On June 14 Matt will host Countdown to Doomsday on the Sci Fi Channel. Harrowing as it must have been to sit within a few feet of a soulless entity such as Coulter, being a part of this show has to have taken some brass ones. And if you go down the list of “doomsday” scenarios, all seem to be either natural or man-made (including the “Maximum Overdrive” inspired scenario of machine rebellion) except…oh yes…Alien Invasion! And would it surprise ANY of us to find out that that Coulter is at the very least like that first little roach you see in the kitchen..the scout sent out to “test the waters?”

2. El Chimperero, after an obligatory game of kick the gay marriage ban can, is super-focused (well, as much as he can) on Illegal Aliens. Now, I don’t believe Dubya is a fan of irony any more than I believe he knows what irony means. But Karl Rove is. If Coulter isn’t the Alien Leader, my money is on Rove. “Here, everybody, look at the pretty wall we’re building…we’re safe from EVERYONE”…yeah, everyone but the ALIENS!!!!

3. And finally, YearlyKos begins today in Las Vegas. Can all this be coincidence with so many Kossacks gathered in one location??? Will the Aliens help our cause, or are they pawns of the CoulterRovian Doomsday Machine?

You Kossacks at YearlyKos keep us posted. I’m off to the store for more tin foil!


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