The Tempest

Not Exactly Shooting For \”Miss Congeniality\”

The Greenhouse Effect – Part Two

Posted by Daniel on Monday, June 12, 2006

To clarify, this is the KIT we bought.

Saturday rolled around and I knew what that meant. The greenhouse kit needed to be put together…and I would need to enlist Scott in the project.

It isn't as though Steve and I are inept in matters of projects. Rather, I think we work pretty well together. Inasmuch as a "married" couple can. If he and I are able to complete a project together where, at the end, no one has died or lost a limb, we can hold our heads up high.

Now, when it comes to certain things, even we know our limitations. That's where we hit #1 on the speed dial…

Ring…Ring…Ring…Ring…(these guys are notorious for screening their calls)…Ring…Ring…



"Yes. Is this Steve or Daniel? You both sound alike over the phone."

"What are you doing today? Wanna put my new toy together?"

"You didn't answer my question."

"Okay, it's Daniel!"

"What's going on, Sweetie?"

"Are you available today?"

"Where's Steve?"

"In the hallway outside my office calling me stupid."

"Fine. I'll be there shortly."

Scotty to the rescue!!

Actually, the conversation was a bit more wordy, as Scott was already planning to do some work on his car. So Steve and I did yard work (he mowed, I pulled weeds and pruned bushes) and then planned a trip to WalMart. But then the guy who was supposed to be there to help Scott had to reschedule for Sunday, so Scott was ours for the day. Everyone should have a friend like Scott.

When Scott showed up, we began putting the greenhouse kit together. After we got the base fastened down to the foundation Steve and I built the previous weekend, the actual greenhouse seemed to come together relatively quickly. Until, that is, we started working on the "roof" part, which we had to do from inside. Jeebus, it was so hot outside it was like…dare I say?…working in a greenhouse!

All was going well until Steve and Scott discovered we were missing an integral part…the door panel that holds the door knob. It can't just be a screw or something, right?!

So, I'm on the phone with Home Depot about this, and they put me on hold…for 45 minutes! Shit! If I hear the Home Depot theme song one more time I'll open a vein.

Finally, someone comes on the line. I explain my problem (other than being on hold watching my fingernails grow) and they tell me there may be nothing they can do about it. I do have the option of returning the kit, though. I had to tell her we already had most of it put together and she should find another option.

A work order was placed for the missing part – again, with no assurance there would be a happy resolution – and I hung up.

The three of us discussed creative options for the missing panel and decided we'd just finish the project.

While Steve and Scott were putting the finishing brackets on the corners, I grabbed my trusty caulk (sorry, that was too funny) and after making every lame caulking joke I could think of, finished filling all the cracks and gaps. (no pun intended) (okay, maybe a little one)

In the end, the greenhouse looks great and I'm now ready to put down the flooring.

A lovely alternating brick pattern.

I have to admit, I'm so happy with this project. Really. I'm moister than a Duncan Hines cake!



3 Responses to “The Greenhouse Effect – Part Two”

  1. Scott said

    Lesson number 1 – Always make sure that Steve knows what Daniel is up to…hence the question “where is Steve”.

    Lesson number 2 – Never tell Daniel you have a free day until you know what his “mountain for the day” is. (Steve on the other hand can be trusted to know days in advance.)

    Lesson number 3 – Never post-pone a friend when a stranger says “sure, I’ll come over and help you balance the 4 carburetors on that 1965 Corvair”. It’s Monday evening and I’m still doing it myself with a stethoscope…but the fumes really make it all worth while.

    Lesson number 4 – When the instructions recommends gloves take it as a message from God himself.

    Lesson number 5 – When building a greenhouse find someone much taller than the completed structure (Steve), someone small enough to become winded while running laps within the structure (Daniel), and someone to giggle at the other two from the sidelines.

    Lesson number 6 – Enjoy the time you have with friends no matter what you are doing. The three of us can assemble a greenhouse, play cards, or sit at a bar making fun of the kids they now allow to enter…and each event proves to be filled with the best times of our lives.

    Okay, and the last lesson. Assume there will be missing parts so that you can plan for “customizations” as you go.

  2. Gillie said

    So you’ve not been to IKEA yet??? You haven’t lived until you are 8 1/2 months pregnant,decide now is the time to buy and build the changing table/chest of drawers ……… and find yourself stuck between aforementioned table and the wall and have to wait for husband to extract you ….. 2 hours later LOL! Eleven years later I have learned my lesson – if it doesn’t come pre-built or with builders (preferably young and fit looking !!!) I don’t buy it – sadly the husband still does (buy it that is ?!).

  3. Scott said

    hahaha, very funny Gillie. As much as I like putting things together (the more parts the more fun for me) and taking them apart, I have put myself in a situation similiar to what you described a few times.

    Most recently when I decided to remove a 70 pound transmission from a car. I thought I would just get things loose and when Ray got home WE could actually remove the unit. One on each side sliding the transmission off of the two foot long cam would be no big deal.

    Little did I know at that time that the bolts aren’t very long and they roll very far very fast. So, here I am under a car holding a transmission that I can’t fully remove because the car isn’t far enough off of the ground to clear the shift linkage. At the same time, I can’t let it go or it will bend the spindle and render more costly parts unusable.

    After 30 minutes of accummulating enough JUNK to hold the transmission in place I finally get out from under the car (arm now in a “cramp for life” state) just in time to watch Ray pull into the driveway.

    Timing is often everything .

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