The Tempest

Not Exactly Shooting For \”Miss Congeniality\”

Online Dumpster-Diving

Posted by Daniel on Friday, June 16, 2006

Okay. I'll admit it. I'm addicted to Ebay. I have an account and I'm not afraid to use it. Don't ask me why. I think it's just some sort of internet virus I caught…or bought. And don't even get me started on PayPal.

Boi-yoi-yoing!!!

I should point out that I don't spend every waking moment looking at and buying shit I neither care about nor need. But when I want to see who has a great deal on a solar heater, I go to Ebay. The entire Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer Bobblehead collection – the replicas from the actual show? I got it on Ebay! (yup, the whole 10-piece collectors set) Assless chaps? Well, I would never want those…but I could get them on Ebay!! The latest issue of "Plushafeliac" magazine? Sure, it's there. But why would I want to read about having sex with a stuffed animal? Who are these sick twisted fucks and why are they selling their shit next to where I can buy something far more useful? Like an automatic ball washer.

For my golf balls.  Get your mind out of the gutter! 

Seriously, whenever Steve asks me to look something up on the internet, (nail gun, sticky notes, videos, for example) for some reason, my computer goes into autopilot and it's Ebay on internet speed dial.

It's a crutch, and I feel shame. And yes, you do have to watch out for those sneeky a-holes out there selling crap like…well…art made of crap (I shit you not), stuff that doesn't work, etc. But Ebay is really pretty good at keeping out the riff raff.

And I did get a great deal on a nice professional poker set recently.

Just today, I was parusing through the fabrics for sale – we need new curtains! got a problem with that?! – and I suddenly had a weird feeling of deja vous…

After seeing this again, I think I'll step away from Ebay for a little while. Just to clear my head.

At the very least, it'll give me the opportunity to shop among real people at the mall or something like that. You know, person-to-person interaction.

On second thought, fuck that. That would mean I'd have to take one of my social anxiety pills.

I wonder what kind of deals Amazon.com has.

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