The Tempest

Not Exactly Shooting For \”Miss Congeniality\”

I’m Positive It’s The Perfect Gift…I Think…

Posted by Daniel on Friday, August 18, 2006

I’ve been a little too preoccupied lately. What with all the ongoing projects around the house and also counting down until the November mid-term elections. Both are very important and fast-approaching. Somewhere along the line, however, I got a little off track of something far more important…




No, I didn’t forget it. It isn’t until September 4th. It’s just that with all that’s been happening around here, it took both of us a little nudge to realize, “Hey, this is one of those important milestone anniversaries.”

Yikes!! Talk about dodging a bullet there. Can you imagine being in a house where both spouses are mad and/or not speaking to each other for forgetting an anniversary? Especially two gay guys?

Well, put away your duct tape and plastic sheeting, there will be no fallout…this time.

As with any ‘married’ couple, there is always that one burning question:

“What would be the appropriate gift for the one I love?”

Hmmm…what is apporopriate for the fifth year?

According to this website, the following is considered traditional:

Fifth Anniversary


Seek out a local artisan and choose a handcrafted wooden cake plate, fruit bowl, or other household utility item. Flowers carved from wood can be purchased online or ask a local carver to create a special bouquet. If you’d like to give a larger gift, consider a wooden table set, a coffee table, or a side or corner table. Other ideas include a wooden picture frame or photo cube.


Traditional: Wood
Decorative shelf


Modern: Wood
Bonsai plant
Wooden door mat
Welcome sign
Garden gifts
Address plaque
Artwork and carvings


Alternate Modern: Silverware
Silver serving dishes
Coffee or tea set
Additions to silverware

Um, nice, I suppose. But let’s face facts here…




If there’s one thing our people are good at, it’s being very creative in the gift-giving milieu. I mean, our neighbors are thrilled about living nextdoor to us, because, aside from our witty banter and fabulous decorating sense, they get some pretty glamourous birthday and Christmas gifts. Hell, we are a species born to shop!!

For the straight guys reading this, let me fill you in on the difference between female spouses and gay spouses…There is none! At least not when you are talking about anniversaries.

If it’s forgotten, you’re screwed.

If you don’t buy a gift, you’re screwed.

If you don’t buy just the right gift, you’re screwed.

If you don’t include just the right card with just the right gift, you’re really screwed.

All of the above, and you might as well go out and get hammered, because you’re not going to get screwed…ever again!

I’ve been working on Steve’s gift for almost a year now. (See? I told you we are creative and considerate.) I have looked high and low through catalogues, online sites, and walk-in stores because I’ve kinda known what I wanted to get for him, but not where to get it. It’s not that he’s hard to shop for. It’s just that I like to get things even HE won’t think I’d think of.

See, I’ve been looking forward to this milestone all year. I love him with all my heart and I truly wanted us to be for real and forever. This year, I wanted to give him something that would be very dear to him (other than me). Because we’re for real.

All too often you see those gay couples I refer to as “Kleenex”. You know, just like in the hetro-world. The couples who have been together for two weeks and think that’s a long time and tell you, “This one’s a keeper.” Then the next time you see them, another “Keeper” has popped up.

Steve and I never really seemed to be like that. You know, all gushy and cooey over each other from the get-go. We just sort of meshed. And laughed. A lot.

So anyway, I managed to find him something not so much rare, but unique. I’m so proud of myself I could just pee!!

Score another gift-giving triumph for the Mo’s.

He’s So going to love this.

I think.


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