The Tempest

Not Exactly Shooting For \”Miss Congeniality\”

To OZ & Back

Posted by Daniel on Monday, October 16, 2006

I got an email last night from a longtime reader asking where I’d gone.

My apologies, GB. My weekend sort of flew by.

Steve and I took a drive into Kansas to visit his mom. This drive is roughly 150-ish miles from here to there…and I forgot to bring my laptop.

Okay, I didn’t exactly forget the laptop. I just didn’t want to disconnect everything from it. I figured we’d be back relatively early on Sunday, so there wouldn’t be a total collapse of the blog if I missed a day.

But this post isn’t really about the missing posts over the weekend. That happens sometimes…deal with it.

This post is actually about the trip itself. And the fact that when Steve and I travel, the little things that happen resemble a Tex Avery cartoon.

Saturday morning, we get up early so as to get an early start. Steve, of course is packed and ready. Daniel, on the other hand, is so not. I don’t know how this happened, because I’m always ready for any kind of trip no later than the night before.

Not so much this time.

I get up. Feed the cats. Make coffee. Take shower. Dress. Pack. Debate one more time over the laptop issue (bring/don’t bring). Check around to make sure everything is as it should be before leaving.

Out the door we go.

We’re driving…we’re driving. I’m doing my usual after-pill babbling. Steve is…well…I don’t know if he’s really listening or not. But he acts like he is and that’s one of the reasons I love him.

It’s a long drive to the West and we remembered to bring all the driving essentials.

All is going well and we’re almost 40 miles from home and just as Steve is taking the ticket as we enter the tollway, out it pops. The right question at the wrong time.

Me: Did you turn off the coffee pot?
He: No, I thought you did.
Me: Nuh uh. I figured you did because it looked like it had been rinsed.
He: You were standing right next to it. Didn’t you see the red light on?
Me: I wasn’t wearing my glasses. Are you sure you didn’t turn ot off?
He: You’re asking me all of this just as we get on the tollway??
Me: I’m sorry.

I won’t bother going on with that back and forth. Suffice it to say, it went on for a couple of miles. We finally de-fagged ourselves and regained some composure. I called Steve’s brother (who has a spare key) and asked him to go to our house and correct our…I mean MY…brain fart.

Crisis averted. to mom’s house, we pass Fort Riley, which has recently served as the launching place for the troops heading for Iraq. It’s pretty cool seeing that place, though I didn’t see much going on there this time.

Maybe that’s a good thing.

Though I must admit, it really would have been a great thing to see planes of troops unloading on the enormous tarmacs. Instead, once again, Bush never fails to disappoint. Bring ’em home, asshole!!

Excuse the side track.

Whenever Steve and I travel, I’m one of those people who loves to soak in the scenery that is passing by. Normally, most people think that driving through Kansas is dull and featureless. While I’ll admit, it can seem like a longer drive than it really is, I try to make it an easier trip by soaking it all in.

As you leave the Kansas City metro area, I-70 is all hills and trees. Right now, especially, it’s a great view of the leaves turning. An added thrill. Then just after you pass through Topeka, the trees begin to thin out as the prairie opens up.

I’m one of those geeky guys who snaps into “Science Guy” mode at this point. I’m looking out the window at the rollong hills, valley’s and vistas. In my head, I’m not just seeing a boring prairie. I’m seeing the remains of what used to be an inland sea. those hills where the interstate cuts through, the many layers of soil are easily seen. Did you know that you can actually see ash layers from the last mega-eruption of Yellowstone? Yup. I was able to point them out to Steve on this trip and he was actually interested in that. I even saw him looking for them on each passing hill.

I know, this is uninteresting to many of you, but this is just my way of never allowing myself to get bored with limited scenery on road trips. You should try this sometime. And when you do, I’ll be expecting a ‘thank you’ note.

At this point, I’d ordinarily fill you in on all of the exciting things that were said and done in and around the town mom lives in…but not this time.

So Sunday we leave for home. I so want to make it home in time to see the Chiefs play against Pittsburg…t-h-e-n write up a post for the blog.

What a fucking joke that was!! Sure, we made it home and we had plenty of time to unpack and prep for the game on tv. (though Steve did laundry the whole time)(thank you Sweetie!!)

Yeah, here I am all hyped up for the game and yet exhausted from the trip. Then the Chiefs go out onto Pittsburgs’ field, lay on their backs, throw their legs into the air and take the grudge-f@&%ing they apparently showed up for.

It was such a piece of shit game. I know that Pittsburg is the defending Super Bowl Champ, but the Chiefs looked like they took one look at the Steelers and lost their mud. Jebus, when they decide to suck, they don’t fuck around.

We were so disgusted by their shitty over-paid playing, we changed the channel to something on the Science Channel about exploring Saturn’s moon, Europa.

So, the point to this post? Really there is none. I just had to get this stuff typed up so that I don’t forget the details. Because when I woke up this morning, it’s all as if none of this really happened. There were good parts of the dream (like going to see mom), stressful parts (like the coffee pot incident), and crappy parts (fucking sucky Chiefs!!).

So in answer to your question, GB…tune in tomorrow when I’ve had a chance to get my blogging head back together.


One Response to “To OZ & Back”

  1. RevelKC2 said

    Anyone who reads this post has to ask him about the PeptoBismol-Pink Explosion of a house we saw. And how my sister when she is in hysterics sounds just like Margaret Cho’s mother.

    Also, never try to watch a quiet movie (Good Night and Good Luck) after an action movie (X-men III) around any of my family. And finally, my sister wants to go to Las Vegas with us. It would actually be really fun.

    (P.S.) My niece is in love with the word “obsessed”. She is 12.

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