The Tempest

Not Exactly Shooting For \”Miss Congeniality\”

Somebody hold my hair…(part 1)

Posted by Daniel on Tuesday, October 24, 2006

The image “https://i0.wp.com/www.2flashgames.com/anjh123hhf923/flash/f-Halloween-Hangover-2513.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.This past Saturday was our Halloween-themed party, “Pumpkin Slasher V”.

Steve and I look forward to this event each year as we are both very into the whole Halloween mileu. Rarely do I come across anything pumpkin-related throught the year that I don’t buy so as to add it to the party menagerie. Each year the decorations get bigger and, to our neighbors’ chagrin, cheesier. I don’t mean to say that we go for the tackiest outdoor decorations’ prize. But there is a thirty-foot spider web strung between two of our trees…complete with a six-foot fuzzy spider loitering in the middle. I so wanted to slap an effigy of George W. Bush on the web, but I couldn’t find a mannequin that looked sufficently stupid…not to mention I wouldn’t want our spider to get food poisoning.

https://i2.wp.com/www.sillyjokes.co.uk/images/party/decorations/halloween/scene-setters/creepy-catacombs.jpgPreparing for this annual event keeps us working our tails off right up to the first (early) guests ringing the doorbell. There is always the last-minute shopping for gawd-knows-what we’ve forgotten on the previous dozen or so trips to WalMart or the grocery store. The week before, Steve spends every waking minute cleaning and prepping the inside of the house (where I am pretty useless), while I’m decorating the shit out of every visible nook and cranny, inside and out. Seriously, don’t stand still too long in our house or something festive and creepy will be slapped over you.

After the last trip to the last store was finished (2-hours before the party), Steve went right back to last-minute cleaning, while I busied myself by plopping on the sofa for a pre-party nap.

Am I a catch or what?!?

The party is due to begin at 7-ish, so at 6:30 I drag my lazy ass off the sofa, take a shower and throw on some comfy clothes.  Then to give Steve a chance to get himself ready in his costume, I start laying out/starting food, lighting a few dozen candles, and welcoming the first early guests.

Then…

Steve makes his grande entrance.

https://i0.wp.com/i16.ebayimg.com/05/i/07/0d/09/a3_1.JPGYikes!!

Keep in mind, this is obviously not Steve, but this is the costume.  He decided he wanted to dress up as what he normally feels he is year-round.  Call me stupid, but I don’t get it. 

Back off, bitches, he’s a-a-a-a-l-l-l mine!!

That I know of, my Sweetie has never done drag, (such that this was) outside of the plays he might do at the theater.  

Do you know how hard it is to find black pumps in a size 12+??  I swear, the lady at Payless (where we found them, go figure) asked us if these were for a special occasion.  Steve just knew I couldn’t resist this one.  “No,” I replied dryly.  “Why do you ask?”  Trust me when I say this lady didn’t look as though she’d spent much, if any, time around the gays, so I just had to have fun “breaking her in”.  She looked rode hard and put away wet by the time we walked out of there.

So, now that “Maid-zilla” is downstairs and into the fray, it’s my turn to slip into something unusual.

To be continued…pictures will be arriving soon.

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2 Responses to “Somebody hold my hair…(part 1)”

  1. RevelKC2 said

    For anyone who really cares, I have only twice before graced the stage in the guise of what is affectionately called “skag drag”. Once for a Christmas benefit (at a lesbian bar, no less, called Billie Jean’s) and once when I worked at a gay bar for the owner’s birthday, and we did a “bartender’s review”.

    FWIW, I thought the payless sales lady had great fun with it and handled herself fine. I think she has her own ‘mo stashed away somewhere.

  2. RevelKC2 said

    Also, he keeps calling me Maidzilla. My NAME was BRANGELINA!!!!

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