The Tempest

Not Exactly Shooting For \”Miss Congeniality\”

One Pillsie Willsie…Two Pillsie Willsie…

Posted by Daniel on Saturday, January 13, 2007

Happy PillsIt’s kind of funny, I suppose…but only to a point.

Around the house, I tend to babble. Quite a lot, actually. And when Steve is home, well it becomes even more annoying.

I can’t really explain my “condition” other than to simply say, if there is silence, words must be spoken. My mind seems to perceive “dead air” as a void that should be filled.

This evening was no exception. There are times when I don’t even realize I’m speaking out loud. Steve, on the other hand, has no such luck. And that tends to get me into trouble…a lot.

I hate admitting it, but my psychologist (who I see because of this) prescribed a little something to help my mind slow down. I can’t remember the exact name of the condition, but it is where your mind seems unable to remain at an even level of thought. Ideas, thoughts, memories and other stored data seem to all want to be uttered at an unusually fast and half-intelligible pace.

Mix that with A.D.D. and you have one annoying mo-fo on your hands. To say that Steve goes above and beyond in the patience department would be the understatement of the year. I can, however, drive him to a point of him giving me “the look” that you would think would shut me up.

Not this cowboy. Nope. No-sir-ee.

This only leads me to, as we’ve come to call it, “report talk”. To explain why I’m explaining what I’m explaining. Honestly, a lesser person would have smacked the shit out of me long ago.

Even when I’m trying to sleep, my mind is still going ninety-to-nothing. Can’t seem to just fall asleep. Instead, I usually have to let the thoughts either wear me down or bore me into a coma.

Enter the other pills they prescribed to allow me to sleep.

These little gems are fast-acting and powerful. So powerful, actually, that I tend not to take them on a regular basis because of how loopy they make me for that 20 minutes before knocking me out. I hate being high on those things, but the reason I hate it is that when they kick in, I can’t think of anything to say.

Irony is a fickle bitch.

So, I was babbling something pointless to Steve tonight while he was busy taking care of the million things he does around the house. And since he’s a good listener, he thinks that somewhere during my speech that I’ll come to the point…and thereby show him there was, indeed, a reason he stopped whatever he was doing just to listen.

Apparently, I failed. Again.

“Take your pill.”, he said in a calm voice.

Naturally, I mistook his speaking to me for an opening to respond.

“No honey, take your pill first. You’re talking about three different things all at the same time. Take your pill and calm down.”

Don’t get me wrong, there are times when I can really piss him off when I do this. He’s only human, after all, and I really can’t say as I can blame him. But for the most part, he’s pretty good at getting me to calm down, sit still and take my pill.

That was 25 minutes ago. Now I’m sitting here trying to write this and trying to have it make sense.

My pill is now kicked in full force. Josh Groban (my calming music) is playing on the PC. And I’m about as high as a kite.

But I’ve just noticed I haven’t spoken a single word for over 20 minutes.

Ever know someone who fidgets a lot and you tell them to sit on their hands? And you can just look at them and SEE that the fidgets are just busting to get out? That’s me with words. I so want to speak right now, but I’ve been calmed and now medicated.

I know why the caged bird sings.

So here I sit. In silence but for my Josh in the background. And it has only now dawned on me. Even though Steve is in his office enjoying today’s first bit of “Daniel-silence”, I’ve somehow managed to write it all out for you.

And you just sat there and “listened” to me. That’s so sweet of you. You finished this whole post without smacking me. I’d jump for joy, if I wasn’t too high to do so. 😉

You think about that little irony while I go to bed and take my sleep-enabling pill.

Nightie night.

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4 Responses to “One Pillsie Willsie…Two Pillsie Willsie…”

  1. Kat said

    Lucky for you Steve had a nut-case sister to break him in.

  2. Doug said

    Sounds like a powerful pill. Isn’t there one that won’t make you “high?”

  3. Oh yes, Doug…it’s called a hammer. LOL :p

  4. Smiley said

    I wish you could email me one. I think I have your problem.

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