The Tempest

Not Exactly Shooting For \”Miss Congeniality\”

Revel Predicts the NFL Champions!

Posted by revelkc on Monday, January 15, 2007


“Revel Predicts the NFL Champions”
“Wow….I guess the CPP-CQQ needs some tweaking. From now on I’ll stick to handicapping synchronized swimming. In the meantime, we’re sending Drew and Tom warm…really really warm…condolences. 😉

Now that the Chiefs have been forcibly retired (as they SHOULD be) to their retreat at Lake Woebegone, we have only been half paying attention to the NFL playoff games. We did watch some of the Colts-Ravens game (hey Baltimore, what’s up with that???). But Last night’s victory by the Patriots was mainly followed online while we did other computer stuff in our respective offices. Tempest watched some of it on our new TV down in the Family Room (and yes, straight people are allowed in there…:-)) mainly because he’s not ready to quit yelling at the TV screen yet. After football season, he really only has Bill O’Really, Ann Coultergeist, and The Big Idiot to yell at.

So to make it more interesting, at least for me, I decided to step out on the proverbial ledge and make predictions for the AFC and NFC championships. Now we all know that it’s a myth and stereotype that gays don’t like, watch, or know anything about sports. I mean figure skating and synchronized swimming ARE sports! Kidding aside, we do know football. That knowledge, nevertheless, has not stopped my Certified Prediction Process *.
*CPP Patent Pending.

Here are my CPP NFL Championship predictions:

First, the NFC New Orleans Saints at Chicago Bears:

Yes, Chicago is hot poopiedoop this year. And after the past few seasons, I say hey, they deserve it. Plus I adore Chicago anyway, even the Southside, where a friend and I were inexplicably taken by a cabbie who I think wanted to see if we would be killed. We may have been drunk, but I am more than certain we said NORTH Halstead. Anyway, I digress. The Saints, on the other hand, are the underdogs you can’t help but root for. I mean, they come from the survivor city of the millenia, The Big Easy herself. I also adore New Orleans, especially Bourbon Street, where I have had my one and only experience watching a man pee while asleep in the middle of the sidewalk. And of course, the flashing of tatas from inside bars and taverns was at least culturally enriching.

So, how did I decide the winner of this matchup? Why, the CPP’s CQQ, (Cute Quaterback Quotient) of course! Here are the choices:
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Brian Griese
Got the rugged thing going on, for sure!
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Drew Brees
Can you say Roman gladiator? YUM!
Gotta give the nod to Drew-baby on this one.

Based on the CPP-CQQ, The Saints will upset The Bears. I’ll throw a score out there of, oh I dunno, Saints 31-Bears 24.

Ok, now for the AFC. I have never been to either team’s home city, or even state for that matter. So the locale edge would have to go to New England. Sorry, I’d much rather be in Blue New England than Red State Indiana any day. (No offense intended, I’m sure Indiana has it’s charms!)

How, you ask with breathless anticipation, did I decide this winner? If you guessed the CPP-CQQ, YOU’RE RIGHT!!!

Bring in Da Boyz:
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Peyton Manning
Goofy Boy All-American charm. His commercials make him seem even cuter.

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Tom Brady
WOOF to the Nth Power! Hotness personified.
Sorry, Peyton, but Tom’s a hotty of biblical proportion.

The CPP-CQQ says the Patriots beat the Colts, 28-17.

There you have it. Tight ends and wide receivers beware, we’ll be watching!!!


4 Responses to “Revel Predicts the NFL Champions!”

  1. Doug said

    You’re the second person I’ve read about who is picking the winner based on how cute the players are. I love it!

  2. Paul said

    Except Griese won’t be starting for the Bears… It’s Rex Grossman… who is cuter, IMHO. LOL.

  3. revelkc said


    Regrettably, the CPP-CQQ doesn’t allow for subsitutions…:-(
    I agree, Grossman is cuter than Griese, but Brees still wins…LOL

  4. Scott said

    Gimme a Bunch a Brady!

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