The Tempest

Not Exactly Shooting For \”Miss Congeniality\”

Is It Globally Warm In Here?

Posted by Daniel on Friday, February 2, 2007

Three days. It took three days to get over this awful illness. Three days of my life that I’ll never get back.

Eh, who am I kidding? It isn’t as though I would have accomplished much with them anyway.

I do want to take this time to thank the dozens of well-wishers who emailed and the three who commented. That was so sweet. Especially coming from “Atari”…who was the only one to admit that I probably got it from him.

Would that it were only true. 😉 And what a way to go.

Actually, “A”, i’m more than sure it was my boss who gave it to me.

Did you ever watch that show “Dead Like Me”? The character Crystal…who seemed to have a thing about licking phones?


I think my boss did the exact same thing to my phone. I’m just THAT desirable. 🙂

So, what have I missed during my absence?

Apparently quite a lot.

I’m down a few days and the whole world goes to shit. War, famine, religion, Ann Coulter reappearing at long last after missing EVERY election-day GOP prediction, the “First Dog”, Barney almost getting poked in the wiskers by some puppy, Bush serving coffee to the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs…

Jeeze…Where to start?

Oh, here’s a funny one: It appears that top international scientists are, at long last, growing a (collective) pair and standing up to Bush and his lying pack of shit administration bullshit artists. I know…to vague…need to narrow it down. I’m referring to a report officially released in Paris yesterday regarding Global Warming…and the fact that it is, indeed, being looked at as mainly man-made.

Ironic. All this time I have been blaming BUSH. (drumroll)

First the background story:

The words of warning about global warming from the top panel of international scientists Friday were purposely blunt: “Warming of the climate system is unequivocal,” the cause is “very likely” man-made, and “would continue for centuries.”

Officially releasing a 21-page report in Paris on the hows and the what of global warming — though not telling the world what to do about it — the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change gave a bleak observation of what is happening now and an even more dire prediction for the future.

“Warming of the climate system is unequivocal, as is now evident from observations of increases in global average air and ocean temperatures, widespread melting of snow and ice, and rising global mean sea level,” the report said.

The head of the panel, Indian climatologist Rajendra Pachauri, called it a “very impressive document that goes several steps beyond previous research.”

A senior U.S. government scientist, Susan Solomon, said as the report was released, “There can be no question that the increase in greenhouse gases are dominated by human activities.”

The report said man-made emissions of greenhouse gases can already be blamed for these current problems: fewer cold days, hotter nights, killer heat waves, floods and heavy rains, devastating droughts, and an increase in hurricane and tropical storm strength (particularly in the Atlantic Ocean).

And if you think it is bad now, the harmful effects during the 21st century “would very likely be larger than those observed during the 20th century,” the report said.

The panel predicted temperature rises of 2-11.5 F by the year 2100. That was a wider range than in the 2001 report. However, the panel also said its best estimate was for temperature rises of 3.2-7.1 F.

On sea levels, the report projects rises of 7-23 inches by the end of the century. An additional 3.9-7.8 inches are possible if recent, surprising melting of polar ice sheets continues.

And the report said no matter how much civilization slows or reduces its greenhouse gas emissions, global warming and sea level rise will continue on for centuries.

“This is just not something you can stop. We’re just going to have to live with it,” co-author Kevin Trenberth, director of climate analysis for the National Center for Atmospheric Research in Boulder, Colorado, said in an interview. “We’re creating a different planet. If you were to come up back in 100 years time, we’ll have a different climate.”

Scientists do worry that world leaders will take that message in the wrong way and throw up their hands, Trenberth said. That would be wrong, he said. Instead, the scientists urged leaders to reduce emissions and also adapt to a warmer world with wilder weather.

“The point here is to highlight what will happen if we don’t do something and what will happen if we do something,” co-author Jonathan Overpeck at University of Arizona said. “I can tell if you will decide not to do something the impacts will be much larger than if we do something.”

“You make a difference on hundred of years time frame, but this is the future of the planet,” Trenberth told The Associated Press. “We have to adapt to it.”

Trenberth said the world is paying more attention to scientists now than in previous warnings in 1990, 1995 and 2001. “The tension is more now,” he said.

The head of the U.S. delegation, White House associate science adviser Sharon Hays, called the panel’s summary “a significant report. It will be valuable to policy makers.”

Really, Ms Hays? To what extent? You might as well just say the words you and your inept “boss” really want to use…

“On behalf of the amply endowed and ruggedly handsome President of the whole fucking universe, I’d like to thank this…um…what’d they call themselves?…oh yeah…Intergovernmental Blah-bitty-Blah for this stack of paper.

Rest assured this report will be put to the the usual scrutiny and be of great use to those in the Administration…who’ve run out of toilet paper thanks to you tree-hugging assholes.

I flew all the way here to Paris at GREAT expense to the American taxpayer just for this?? You’re all so fucking lucky the American tax payers also paid for my shopping down here or we’d nuke your asses all back to Woodstock.

Thank you all, again, for this report…useless as it is. On behalf of the President, the Grand Poobah and Center of the known Universe, George “Lick Me” Bush, fuck you all.”

Of course, this is all just conjecture…I honestly think she tossed the report the minute she left the building.

Funny thing abut Global Warming…When the issue comes up, the Bush administration reacts to it more according to the SEASON. You ever notice during Winter, Bush, his administration, the GOP, their base, and all the other nay-sayers adamantly downplay Global Warming? It’s like, “Well, just look at all the snow and cold winds out there. How can that possibly equal Global Warming??” Then, during the warmer months, they do everything to AVOID the issue.

Gawd bless this mess that is America.


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