The Tempest

Not Exactly Shooting For \”Miss Congeniality\”

Dazzle Me OSCAR

Posted by Daniel on Sunday, February 25, 2007

academyaward.jpgI can’t help it. I’m addicted to watching the OSCARS.

I’ll also admit this: Of all the nominated features, I’ve seen only one…

DREAMGIRLS!!!

dreamgirls-0.jpg

This is probably going to sound about as gay as…well, as gay as I am, but I love – love – LOVED this movie!! And I’ve never been all that big on movie musicals. This musical, however, actually took my nelly little breath away.

vaklempt.jpgI can’t tell you how many times I had to clutch the imaginary pearls because I became verklempt!!

Jennifer Hudson and all of the singers – yes, even Eddie Murphy – just knocked my socks off.

I swear, at one point in the movie, I had a Linda Richman flashback.

When Richard Simmons was a guest on the Mike Myers (SNL) skit “Coffee Talk”. Myers played arguably the funniest chatacter on television at that time…Linda Richman.

Here is but a snippet of their exchange when the subject of Barbara Streisand came up (which happened every episode at least once)…

Linda Richman: Welcome to Coffee Talk I’m your host Linda Richman. On this show we talk about coffee, New York, dawters, dawgs, you know no big whoop just Coffee Talk. The big news is that I Linda Richman, saw Barbra Joan Streisand in concert in Las Vegas, Nevada. She was so beautiful, and her voice was like buttah. But wait, it gets better. She invited me on stage. Hand to God, I was on stage with Barbra Streisand. It was just like when Merv Griffin used to invite Mrs. Miller up from the audience. Now I’m getting a little verklempt. Talk amongst yourselves. I’ll give you a topic: a Thighmaster is neither a thigh nor a master. Discuss! There I feel better. Let’s go the phones. The number is 555-4444. Give us a call we’ll talk, no big whoop. Hello?

Caller #1: Hello Linda. You saw Barbra in Vegas. Did you do any gambling?

Linda Richman: Are you kidding? I played the slots so much I think I have carpel tunnel syndrome. I can’t even open a door. I was hoping that Robert Redford would offer me a million dollars but instead a dry cleaner from Newark asked me to move over. Evidently I put on some weight. I’ve been trying so hard. I’m at my wit’s end. (doorbell rings) Who is it?

Voice of Richard Simmons: It’s me Richard Simmons!

Linda Richman: Richard Simmons, Come in I love you!

[ Richard Simmons runs onto the set ]

Richard Simmons: Linda you look wonderful.

Linda Richman: Start!

Richard Simmons: Linda I’m so jealous. You were on stage with Barbra Streisand. What was she like?

Linda Richman: Oy God. She’s a pistil in my scheinel ponnum. A scheina cup. Mitin drinin dura hommelginnum homelmitzvah etzel betzel tookel hyam yenkel sem out my kyahh.

Richard Simmons: That’s what I thought.

Linda Richman: Exactly.

ellenoscar.jpgOkay, so that’s how I felt during and after the movie. So I’m really pulling for Jen and the movie to do very well tonight.

A good sign is the fact that Ellen Degeneres is hosting again. Since Ellen ranks right up there with Billy Crystal in hosting and starting off the show interestingly enough so as to keep the viewing audience awake.

Bring on the dazzle, OSCAR.

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One Response to “Dazzle Me OSCAR”

  1. Revelkc said

    He means Jennifer Hudson and we DO congratulate her on a well deserved Best Supporting Actress win. Also kudos to Mr. Scorcese for finally crossing over to the winners circle.

    I was shocked (pleasantly so, though) only once, with Melissa Etheridge taking best song, when I was almost certain it would be “Listen” from “Dreamgirls”. Is Hollywood trying to kiss up even more to Gore…:-)? And my disappointment, no offense intended to Forrest Whitaker at all (though that acceptance speech seemed a bit strained and off kilter to me….maybe it’s just because Helen Mirren was so incredibly, “Britishly” poised) was for Peter O’Toole. Why does the Academy keep doing that to these esteemed veterans? Is Mr O’Toole taking the place of poor Richard Burton? I really really wished he would have won, if nothing else, since who knows how much longer we will have his talent around to enjoy.

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