The Tempest

Not Exactly Shooting For \”Miss Congeniality\”

Nuthin’ But Hair There

Posted by Daniel on Wednesday, February 28, 2007


Ever have one of those mornings when you just want to shave your cat(s)?

Last night, I was pretty pooped out from the days activities and then a fast run to Lowe’s for ever more supplies to finish up the Great Room project. Though my body was ready to rest, my mind just wouldn’t shut down.

This is an on-going problem for me which unfortunately requires a lovely prescription.

So last night, I’m watching Countdown With Keith Olbermann and since I know I need the rest, I pop a mind-coma pill. These little gems work fast. About halfway through the program, I realize I’m shutting down fast. So I turn off the TV there, go upstairs and lay down. I was out in less than five minutes.

That was about 7:35 PM.

All was well, I suppose. The cats, as per their usual routine, were all congregated on the bed in their favorite spots (the ones they specifically choose in order to force me to sleep in the most uncomfortable positions imaginable). I’m kinda their bitch, meaning I don’t seem to think about making them move…I just fina a way to sleep around them so as to keep the peace.

Anyway, since I fell asleep so hard and so early, naturally I woke up very early this morning. I believe it was 2:30-ish.

What I woke up to was hair-raising.

It looked like all four cats had a hair-pulling contest…and I lost. It was everywhere. A ghoulish scene of mats of hair on the floor, the bed and – most icky – on my pillows. I thought I must have been dreaming because this has never happened before.

Side note: One of our cats, Jesse, has a dumb habit of pulling not only his own hair when he’s in a pissy mood, but the hair of any of the other three cats should they be near him at the time. A habit he picked up years ago from Steve’s former roommates’ cat.

Anyway, in my morning stupor, I catch the little bugger in the act. This woke me up rather quickly, as nothing tickles me more than actually catching a cat in any act of bad-cat-dom. Then I realize I’ve misplaced my squirt gun. So I run downstairs to the bathroom and grab what I thought was the squirt gun…I must have still been somewhat sedated by the pill, because when I ran back upstairs and tried to hose him down, I heard a buzzing in my hand.

I grabbed the cordless hair trimmer.

Irony…it’s a funny thing sometimes.

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2 Responses to “Nuthin’ But Hair There”

  1. atari_age said

    Oh geez, what an awful cat habit! Does something stimulate it, or do that just do it randomly?

    I really think you need a Cat Whisperer. Or maybe the Pet Psychic. 😀

  2. Daniel said

    S…Jesse is just one of those pissy cats that does it BECAUSE he knows it gets to me. He never does it in front of Steve (too scurred, prolly…lol). Like I said, I’m their beyotch…so they can pretty much get away with murder around me. Little salad tossers!!!

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