The Tempest

Not Exactly Shooting For \”Miss Congeniality\”

And The Walls Came Tumblin’ Down

Posted by Daniel on Friday, March 9, 2007

happybdaymom01-776042.jpgI am such an asshole.

Okay, that seemed rather harsh. But what would you call someone who brain-farted their mother’s birthday?

No, I didn’t forget her big day…I just wrote it down wrong. I know it’s March 7th, but for some reason I put a 1 in front of the 7 when I wrote it down on a sticky note.

Stupid…stupid…stupid!!!

So here I’ve been planning something really cool for her for the 17th, and trying my best to be her favorite middle child.  I just knew I was going to score some huge Princess Points this year.

Wrong-o!!

I just happened to be talking to her Wednesday about when she, my brother Terry, my sister Tracie and Terry’s wife Theresa (who also happens to be my BFF) are all coming up for a visit in May. I’ve been looking forward to this visit, as it’s going to be the very first time any of my relatives has come to Kansas City. Usually I go down to California to visit them.

Somewhere during the conversation, her birthday came up.

Mom: “Oh you got the pictures, I’m so glad!!
Me: …”Yeah, thanks. I love the way your yard turned out.
Mom: “Did you see what John got me for my birthday?
Me: …”Yes I did. I don’t remember seeing that there last year, though.
Mom: “He gave it to me this year.
Me: …”Oh, an early birthday present?
Mom: “My birthday was tooo-DAY!!!
Me: …”Um…yeah, well…I, um, knew that…STEEEEEEEVE!!!
Steve: (said loudly enough for my mother to hear over the phone…) I’ve never forgotten MY mother’s birthday.
Mom: “I love you, Steve.

Ouch!!

mymemories3.JPGI felt so stupid and ashamed. Not even reminding her that I had the date written on a Post-It and it was placed prominently on my sticky note wall seemed to make her feel any merrier. (see the big red arrow? that’s the sticky note) Though, it didn’t help much that Steve felt compelled to tell her (we had her on speaker phone…talk about adding insult to injury) that her Post-It was buried under dozens of layers of other sticky note reminders I have there.

Me: ….”See? It’s right there in plain sight!!
Steve: “All you can see is ‘Mom’s Bi’!!
Mom: “Whaaaat???????

I must have really done something to annoy Steve earlier that day…I mean for him to be such a fucking help. 😀

After a minute or two trying to calm Mom down and letting her know that I most certainly do NOT think she’s bisexual, the conversation mercifully turned back to my writing down the wrong date for her birthday.

Sidebar: Did you notice the date next to the dark pink Post-It towards bottom left? Yes, it actually says August 2004. I knew I had a calendar in my office somewhere!!

So to stress my point, I began trying to unbury the obviously wicked little sticky note reminder.

BIG MISTAKE!!!!!!!

It was then that my ADD and any other mental issues kicked in to overdrive. And it ain’t pretty when that happens.

As I’m trying to gingerly expose the Post-It in question, layer upon layer of reminder sticky’s came raining down. It was nightmarish!! It suddenly occurred to me that my entire brain was stuck up there in the form of one hand-written reminder after another.

Down they rained. A shower of pink, marigold, fuschia, teal, turquoise, lined, unlined, flower bordered and puppy dog. Each with one of my memories. Telephone numbers (that for some reason I also keep on my PC rolodex), Post Topics/Ideas, Blog topics, Book ideas, etc. Now all laying in a multi-colored puddle of mental chaos.

I was torn. Do I allow the OCD kick in and try to put it all back in it’s particular order and layers? Or do I get back to Mom?

Suffice it to say, I got back to Mom. I wished her a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY, and promised her there would be one gigantic suck-up present waiting here for her when she arrives in May.

She forgave me. And then told me to do something about my sticky note fetish.

Hey, Mom…I don’t suppose this blog post would substitute as a nice suck-up present, would it?

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One Response to “And The Walls Came Tumblin’ Down”

  1. Mom said

    Well, I don’t think so. Now that I see your sticky note fetish, Clean up your mess!! How many times have I said that through your growing up years!!

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