The Tempest

Not Exactly Shooting For \”Miss Congeniality\”

Caution: Gay Construction Ahead – Part 10 – We + Wind = Whoopsie!!!

Posted by Daniel on Sunday, April 22, 2007

It is what it is.There are just some things that I am not good at.  It’s a bitter pill to swallow (take it from an expert) and really throws a crimp into my whole theory of just how creative and clever I am.  And as sometimes happens, someone or something must pay for my ineptitude.

Take yesterday, for instance.

On what amounted to yet another day of shopping for thingamabobs, doohickies and wachamacalits for both inside and outside the house, we first needed to stop over at Scott and Ray’s house.

They just bought a brand spanking new gas oven and so we decided to buy their practically-new flat-top oven.  A hundred bucks for something much easier to clean than our current electric oven seemed a steal.  And I’m all about making things easier on Steve…especially the cleaning part…which I completely suck at.

So we go ever there to pay for and load up the new oven.  It was a necessary trip anyway, as Steve wanted to drop off a check to Ray for the new super-computer Ray is going to build for him.  “It’s going to make Daniel’s computer look like a Commodore 64.”, Ray said.  And I’ll have you know, mine is pretty top-of-the-line.

Anyway, checks and cash delivered, Steve and I load up the new-ish oven into my truck.  Everything fastened down and steadied, off we go to bring our new treasure home.

Now, it’s only about 4 miles between their house and ours, and most of that is covered by two miles of highway, so it isn’t as though we had a lot of stops at lights between there and here.  In retrospect, maybe that wasn’t such a good thing.

About a mile and a half from home, we’re driving (five miles under the speed limit) and for a moment, we feel the truck lurch.  Keep in mind, this was a particularly windy day, so it isn’t uncommon to feel your vehicle move when you catch the winds just right.

This time, however, we caught the wind just wrong!!  A split second after feeling the truck lurch from the wind, we hear and feel a very loud BANG!!!  I look in the rear view mirror…yup…the oven was hit by the wind, came loose of it’s bracings and flopped face-first onto the bed of the truck, landing very hard on the dolly with which we used to move it.

Steve suggested calmly that I pull over, however I already knew what we’d see, so why bother?  “Let’s just get home.”, I said.

It’s funny the different ways people tend to see certain events.

Steve:  “Well, what are you going to do?  These things happen.  Maybe it was karma saying we really didn’t need the oven and probably would have burnt the house down if we wired it in wrong, anyway.  Hahahaha.”  (he actually did laugh)

Daniel:  “Wouldn’t you know it?!?!  Why??  Why did that happen??  Just LOOK at it!!  It’s completely fucking RUINED!!  We just paid someone $100 for US to cart this now-USELESS piece of shit away!!!  And now we’re going to have to pay the trash collectors even more to haul it away from our house!!!  Fuck…fuck…fuck…fuck…”  (this went on for another thirty minutes)

Steve:  “Do I need to explain the whole karma-thing to you again?”

I suppose he’s right, in a way.  Ironically, as we were pulling out of Scott & Ray’s driveway with the oven, I was singing the old Sanford & Son song.

So yeah, the oven is now trashed.  And once my Xanax kicked in, I found it easier to look at the new $100 piece as lawn art.  At least until trash day.

Today being Sunday means another shopping day.  It’s even more windy outside than it was yesterday.  I believe it’s blowing 25 – 35 mph.  Hmmm…We should go buy a new refrigerator.

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4 Responses to “Caution: Gay Construction Ahead – Part 10 – We + Wind = Whoopsie!!!”

  1. Cameron said

    This is hilarious. I feel like I was there while reading. Well, hilarious in a humorous sort of way but not a “funny” occurance. I just want to know which one of you is Lamont and which one is Aunt Esther!!!!!!

  2. RevelKC said

    About the cleaning–I hope everyone understands “suck at”=”simply doesn’t want to do”…:-)

  3. Daniel said

    I think about it…doesn’t that count for something???

  4. Idetrorce said

    very interesting, but I don’t agree with you
    Idetrorce

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